Perfect
by Mandy of the Amoeba
Summary: Songfic to Simple Plan's "Perfect". Deals with Percy leaving the family.


A/N: I've noticed a few songfics to Simple Plan's 'Perfect' around...but the ones I've seen are about Draco and Lucius. Ever since the first time I heard this song, it's made me think of Percy and Arthur; I'm sure someone else somewhere has done a songfic to this, and I KNOW other people have done this same storyline, but I wanted to take a shot at it. Enjoy. 

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_Hey Dad, look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
And do you think I'm wasting my time  
Doing things I wanna do?  
But it hurts when you disapprove all along_

Percy packed his bags in a blind fury, not even caring that his things were flying haphazardly into his trunk and making a mess of themselves. He ignored his mothers tearful pleading outside his bedroom door; she could have easily charmed the lock open, but he knew she wanted him to open it himself. He was too livid to feel guilty about the grief he was causing her. His father's words and warnings were still ringing in Percy's ears, fueling him onward.

They were idiots, his whole family. Forsaking the Ministry in order to stay loyal to some old fool who should have retired years ago and a famous little rich boy with delusions of grandeur. Percy knew he was in the right, and he refused to back down from his convictions. He had a stubborn streak a mile wide, inherited from both of his redhaired parents, and he wasn't about to let his father win in this. Not this time.

He had spent too much time letting things slide with Arthur. Ever since he had been old enough to understand the worth of money and the fact that his family had very little, he had frowned upon his father's low-income, low-status job with the Ministry. Yet he had held his tongue, telling himself that Muggle relations was what Arthur really wanted to do. But all that was over tonight; Arthur had cut his son to the quick with his words, and so Percy took a stab right back at his father, insulting his job and his station and his loyalties and anything else he had thought of off the top of his head. With the last of his things magicked into the trunk, Percy levitated it off the ground and towards the door quickly without thinking to open the door first. The trunk crashed loudly into the wood, warranting a surprised shriek from Molly just outside, before toppling to the floor again. Cursing, Percy righted the trunk again and sent it on it's way, making sure that the door was open this time before following his things out. He pushed past his mother, who continued to follow him down the stairs, alternately pleading with and ordering her third son to unpack his things and talk things over with his father. Percy ignored her, his jaw set in a firm line.

Arthur stood in the living room, his fists clenched and his knuckles white, watching silently as Percy headed towards the door. The trunk had already made it outside the Burrow before he spoke, his voice taking on a warning tone. "Percy Ignatius Weasley, if you walk out of this house, you're not coming back. Do you understand me?"

Dead silence filled the house for a full ten seconds as Percy turned to study his father. Molly held her breath as she stood with one hand still on the stair railing, looking fearfully from her husband to her son and back again. Fred and George were sending murderous glances towards their older brother; Ron was nowhere to be seen. Ginny stood in the doorway to the kitchen, her arms crossed over her chest defensively and tear marks streaked down her pretty little face. Percy didn't fully see any of them; his eyes were locked with his fathers, both sets the same shade of blue, each one daring the other to back down. Then, abruptly, he turned and walked out the open door.

He heard his mother shriek his name behind him, as well as a "Molly, don't!" from Arthur as the redheaded woman ran out the door after her son.

"Percy!" she called again, but he showed no signs of stopping as she ran after him. Had he turned around, he would have seen her collapse to the ground in a sobbing heap as her husband ran out after her to try to calm her down. Luckily for Percy, he did not witness this scene, as he suddenly came to his senses, remembered that he was able to apparate and did so with a quick pop.

_And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't pretend that I'm all right  
And you can't change me_

It wasn't easy to face his father at work after that. Of course, they didn't have much cause to run into one another; Fudge kept Percy very busy, and he revelled in the responsibility. He was finally getting somewhere in his life. He was rising above the level of his family and making a success of himself. He was making more in a week than Arthur made in a month.

But he wasn't happy.

Even though he avoided his father's gaze in the hall and he knew Arthur was doing the same, Percy craved approval. He tried to stay confident that, one day, his dad would come to his senses and apologize. The whole family would welcome him back with open arms, they would praise him for being right all along. He was so sure they would change for him. After all, he certainly wasn't going to change for them.

Somewhere, deep down inside, he knew it would never happen. Because in the depths of his heart, he knew he was wrong. He just wouldn't admit it, not even to himself. He was so, so tired of pretending...but he didn't know how to stop.

_Cause we lost it all  
Nothing last forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect_

Time marched on. He didn't think about his family quite so much; he never, ever talked about them. Not that he really had anyone to talk to. His work was his entire life. Penelope had stayed with him for a few weeks after he left his family, but pretty soon, she left. He still didn't understand that; Penny was so intelligent. Surely she, of all people, would be able to see that he was right. But she didn't. Somehow, that didn't hurt him too badly; he wasn't really sure he had ever loved her in the first place. It was just that they were a perfect match, so naturally they should be together. It was logical. But now, nothing was turning out the way he had planned. He had planned things to be perfect.

After all, he was the perfect child. He never broke the rules, never talked back, never did anything out of line. His brothers picked on him, but he knew they would grow up in time and realize what a wonderful example he had always been for them. He had followed his father's footsteps by going into the Ministry, just as a perfect son should. He kept his room tidy and always helped his mother when she needed it...just as a perfect son should.

And, slowly, he was beginning to realize that his perfection had been marred by the conflict with his family. It didn't matter that he still did everything exactly the way he was supposed to; there was no one who cared about him to be perfect for. He had lost everything.

_Itry not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
All the days you spent with me  
Now seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore_

_And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
Can't stand another fight  
And nothing's all right_

The guilt ate away at him slowly. He buried himself in his work, convinced that keeping his mind occupied would take away from the horrible feeling. It didn't. All he could do was distract himself, keep busy during the day and go to sleep as soon as he finished his paperwork at night. Work, sleep, work again.

When his routine was interrupted in the wee hours of a December morning by an owl insistently pecking on his window, delivering a scribbled note from his mum that Arthur was in the hospital, he wasn't sure how to react. His first instinct was to go to the hospital. Fight or no fight, Arthur was still his father, the man he had looked up to his entire life. He should be with him in what could be his last hours. In fact, Percy went so far as to grab his cloak out of the closet in the tiny flat where he lived before he stopped himself.

He couldn't go. He couldn't make it look like he still cared, when Arthur so obviously didn't. He couldn't face those people, whose outward appearance so closely mirrored his own but whose inner hearts were so different. It would be awkward; his brothers would probably fight him away, even. So he hung his cloak back on the peg and went back to bed.

_'Cause we lost it all  
Nothing last forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect_

_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said  
And nothing's gonna make this right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
'Cause you don't understand_

It was three weeks after Christmas before he even saw Arthur again. He stepped onto a Ministry elevator only to find himself face to face with his father; the doors closed before either one of them could step off. "Arthur," Percy said in stiff greeting, inclining his head politely. Something flashed across his father's face; for a moment, he thought it might have been a touch of tenderness, but it was quickly replaced with a stoic expression.

"Percy." The reply was short, cold. So unlike the fiery warmth that Percy had always come to know with his redheaded family, the warmth he never quite managed to return to them. There was a long, awkward silence between them as the elevator moved upwards.

"Arthur, I..." Percy began, but the doors suddenly opened on Arthur's floor. The older man waited a moment, his face still expressionless; he wasn't quite looking at Percy, but he was listening. However, the moment had passed. A spiteful little voice in Percy's head had reminded him suddenly of all the hateful things his father had said to him the night he left, and he simply gave a brisk nod. "I'm glad to see you're up and about."

His father waited a moment, as if he knew that there was more Percy wanted to say. When no more words came, he simply nodded tersely and stepped off the elevator.

At that moment, Percy suddenly felt like breaking down into tears, but his composure never wavered. Even though he was alone in the elevator, a slight twitch of his mouth was the only indication of emotion about him. Arthur didn't understand him; he never had, and he never would. That was something Percy accepted.

_'Cause we lost it all  
Nothing last forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect._

He never tried to talk to Arthur again. Not even after Dumbledore turned out to be right...especially after that. There was no way to go back to his family; they would simply gloat over the fact that they had been right and he had been wrong.

All alone in a world of the rising Dark Lord and Death Eaters popping up around every corner, Percy finally realized what a mistake he had made. What a huge, horrible, blundering mistake. And, for the first time in his life, he truly realized something else.

He wasn't perfect.


End file.
